Wednesday, November 24, 2010

One whine filled post.

Why i dont want next week to happen? Quite a few guessing around happening about my whines about next week.

1. You getting MARRIED? (love this reason)
2. You got some project. (so why should i dread?)
3. You running away with your bf. (like huh? He would run away FROM ME :p)
4. You stole a million dollars. (sadly i got no time for grand plans :p)
5. Your parents are coming. ( how i wish that was true.i would never dread sigh )

Funny guess work indeed. Well let me break the bubble. Its my birthday next week. So why the dread you ask. Wait no its not because i am going old. I would love going old. Love having wrinkles or grey hair it would give me a reason to celebrate.
I dont want to be here away from all my bumchums, my loved ones and most importantly from the two. Al and Carrie. This is the thing we three best friends have the birthday on the same day. Every year its a big thing for the whole gang of us. Everyone looks forward to Al, carrie and Nessi.'s birthday. And its celebrated in much gusto. A whole day at the beach or going out for a long lunch or just spending the whole day riding around the city in our activas. The all girl gang fun.

I miss all that. I miss being with people who i know care even though they find me crazy. My super star who made my last birthday memorable too. I miss him.

I miss my family who saw to it that each year i turned old they would make it special. Mom cooking all my treats and waking me up in the middle of the night and keeping me awake to receive my calls. Oh yeah i sleep on my birthday. I cant stay awake after 12.30am. So friends who know that, squeeze all their calls in that time frame. "wait put nessi on conference she will sleep off otherwise"

So why will this birthday be different? The reason is that the people i always make memories with are all back home. Yeah al is in mlore and carrie in manipal and me here so for both of us its not really going to be a party together. And also considering the rest of us are also flung out across the country and the world. When i whined about with mom she just told me one think. "This year make memories with new people. You still got pinty and drawer." i know i still got some friends here. But i was so used to the old memories am dreading of making new ones.

The other dread is the fact that i dont have anything to celebrate about. Every year i think what have i done to celebrate this birthday and i always had a commemorable moment. This year i have none. Zilch. Nothing at all. No point celebrating it right. So in case you plan on wishing me please bear with my whinings and as my good friend Yulia said "Oh great the whiner is here." Cant really help it. I am growing old and i have done nothing with these 22yrs. *A big depressing sigh*

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Where does the fault lie?

Prewarning : this post is written in extreme anger. Some words and references may seem offensive but i dont really care. If you want to read. Go ahead. If you want to answer my questions please do. If you plan on getting judgemental and sling shit on me, the comments column is right below. Feel free.

Situation 1.

A 7 year old girl just done with her dance classes and is waiting outside her school for her parents to pick her up. Usually she stays inside but today she decided to stand at the gate and save the trouble for her parents to walk all the way inside the campus. It was a saturday afternoon and the road was deserted. She was waiting around playing with her pretty pink teddy bear. She looks up to see a man standing next to her. The little innocence in her failed to see what the man was upto. He was playing with her pigtails and asking her name and asked if she wanted chocolates. When she said No. He offered to show her something and promised to let her touch it. All she said to him was "uncle i dont talk to strangers and please cover your shame shame". Right at the moment she saw her parents at a distance and walked towards them unaware of what ever that just happened. It was only when she reached home and her mom asked her about the man did she realise that he was the bogey man that her mom told her to strictly avoid. And also the reason why she should stay in a safe place with adults around. She did not realise the gravity of what had happened to her. But since then she lived with the fear of bogey man who she thought never existed. The bogey man because of whom she could not go out to play alone.

Situation 2:

A 16 year old girl all excited to go to her grandma's place for vacation. And this was the first time her mom was letting her go alone. That meant travelling a 4 hour bus drive alone. Super excited she was standing at the bus stop waiting for the second bus. It was getting a bit late she realised. And she looked around to see a lot of passengers waiting. She hoped to get a seat but it looked highly unlikely, as the people at the bus stop looked like they were waiting for the same bus. She looked around staring at each passenger just to search for a familiar face. A creepy man was staring at her. She ignored him thinking maybe he was just reading the bill board behind her. Finally she heard the bus honk from a distance. She gathered her bags and stood ready. There was a huge rush of people trying to get into the bus. She held her bags close to her and tried to get in. She was only nudged between the crowd of people. Just when she found the foot hold of the bus and tried to step in, she felt an unmistakable hand on her chest. That creeped her and stunned her she stepped in, looked back and ignored it, maybe its just the crowd. As luck would have it, she did not get a seat. She had to stand in between a sea of people. The bus moved along taking along the sardine packed passengers. That very instance she felt someone holding her at the wrong place. She looked back, kicked her shoes really hard on the guy. Punched him too. And yelled a screeching scream. The bus stopped. The conductor came to her and asked her what the problem was? She was just perplexed and confused the guy was trying to run away. She pointed out to him and told them "he touched me." but before anyone could do anything that creepy man had disappeared. And the girl was given stares as though it was her fault. Like her clothes were the problem. Like the fact that she was the girl was a problem. They even told her to relax. Such things happen at crowded places. Too shocked by the reaction of the on lookers she reached home crying. And when her relatives asked her what happened. They threw a spat to never let her go alone anywhere.

Situation 3.

A 21 year old girl attended her first night out. A college party. She promised her mom she ll be home before 9. Considering that the city she lived was shut by 8 and bus services run only till ten, she made it a point to leave the party by 9. Still elated and high by the good time she had with her friends she got into her bus wrapped comfortably in her jacket she was all smiles. She got down at her stop and walked towards home. It was pitch dark and the lane looked deserted except for a few vehicles zooming by. A man came walking by her and touched her. Before she could turn back he walked away swiftly . She screamt a loud curse and that coward just ran like the wind. She traced her steps towards home and told her mom what had happened. The only reaction she got from her mom was a long lecture about going out for night outs and parties and walking the lonely road at night.

All these three situations could be Me or anyone for that matter. Everyone must have gone through such horrifying experiences. But then here comes the part that actually tears you apart. The stunned, helpless feeling that you did not do anything to stop it. The anger inside you that wants you to kill that person. You promise yourself next time you ll be careful. You ll hit back. But when next time happens its the same vicious cycle. You are stunned shocked and taken aback.

To everyone out there who has heard this happen to a friend or someone, am sure you gave this advice to them "You should have wacked the hell out of that creep". Trust me! not a good advice. Its not easy to fish out that pepper spray or stun gun right in time and disable the creepy men. First you are just stunned and taken aback. Next you feel numb and motionless. Your vocal chords give up on you. Your reflexes lose it too.

Do not ever scold them by telling them "You should never walk that lane alone". First things first sometimes even the lane well lit and with whole lot of people around incidents like this do happen.

"oh good atleast you are safe and you were not raped" thats the last thing a victim wants to hear. Yeah she may feel good that she is on the safer side but that can just give that person nightmares and trauma.

"Dress well next time". Like seriously? you think a 7 year kid wearing a frock is provocative. Its the not the clothes or the attitude. Its those perverted sense of brains that these creeps have. And its not initiated by clothes or the place or the time.

So someone please answer me. What pleasure do these uncouth men get by touching women and pouncing on them. And is it a woman's fault that she walked that lane alone, or she did not get a bus that was empty, or she preferred to wait at a bus stop than take an auto late at night?

Is this why we celebrate International Men's Day? That men are experts at getting creepy and scaring women?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

MMS - Mangalore Memories Syndrome

It all started friday night with Drawer pestering me on how much fun it would be to just get up hop on the bus and come home with her to mlore. My mangalore. All thanks to her i suddenly fell homesick. I tried hard to finish work as soon as possible. With a pounding head and work piling up i worked like i was on red bull but nothing seems to be getting done on time. I gave up, no way could i get it done on time. That made me all sulky and moody. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go home. That was all that was ringing in my head. Even the big bar of chocolate did not cheer me up. I was all sulky the whole friday night and no i was not pms-ing it was more like mms-ing (Mangalore Memories Syndrome). Haunted by it whole night long. I had dreams and nightmares about ppl from my mlore life.

Saturday morning i decided its time i did the most dreaded activity. SHOPPING. And lets see if retail therapy can work its wonders. Trust me it never did. I always hated shopping. And always will. Cousin happily tagged along and we started off on the maniac journey in the streets of blore. I was hoping that we could just sit on the bus and stare at the vehicles whizzing away. But as luck would be it, we stepped into an over packed bus. We were packed in like sardines. Reminded me of the mlore buses. Where the conductor would not spare even an inch or a centimeter, and stuff passengers into the bus. The bus dangerously tilting and
chugging along the road. Same experience here. Except i never got to smell anyone's armpits. Thank God for the Volvo buses. But yeah I stood the whole way. Whole freaking hour. I reminded myself no thinking of home. No getting sulky. No haunting memories to make me home sick.

Famished by just that ride we decided to have lunch first. And we went to this restaurant called Kudla. Oh yes its a mangalorean restaurant. There its in my system now am missing home more than ever. But it was a good thing. The restaurant did remind me of home in a good way. The false wooden ceiling reminded me of my grandma's house and we both cousins just could not stop getting nostalgic about the old days. Blame it on the place or the food. I could not help it. The kori rotti, the bangda fry, and prawn masala rice just stuffed my happy tummy with nice mlorean memories. Conversing in tulu with the waiters and the owner, it truly felt home like. But still made me sulky. I wanted to go home. .

And then we walked all the way to brigades. Again nostalgia crept in. The long walks i took to go anywhere. The walks i took home. The walks i took to college. The way i kept pestering my friends. "Lets just walk". This was just not helping. I want to go home.

That was it! i told myself no sulky mood. Am going to enjoy this day. We went to a shoe place to buy some slippers. And i dont know what came over me i started bargaining in tulu. That wasn't the surprising part. The baffling part is when the shop guy responded in tulu. I did not know whether to hug him there or just give him the money and scoot. Thats what i did, i just scooted from there. Could not bargain.

While walking around the place i saw someone familiar. I did a double take only to realise i was seeing things. How the hell can a person come all the way here just for a day. This is just not helping me. I got sulky again. Distracted myself by shopping. Went about spending on things that i would not normally spend so much on. Retail therapy just does not help.

Too tired with all the exercise of shutting myself away from mlore memories. I had enough i told my sister. Lets just go home. We could not get a direct bus. So we got down at marathalli and she took me to this store. THE MANGALORE STORES. It had everything mlore in it. Red rice. Green chakkulli's, beaten rice, rose cookies, cockum. All sorts of other food items. The famous SRR masala packets just hit me hard. They are the same masala makers that manufacture those lovely masalas right near my place. I remember walking past that place and i could smell chillis and strong garam masalas. Who am i kidding. I cant run away from mlore memories. It will stick and stay with me forever like a leech.

Not to forget i ended my day to a nice tender coconut. The sweet water and and creamy malai just lifted my mood right there. Best part i atleast found my little mlore here in the maddening blore. No more sulky me. If i cant go home. I ll get home here. Time to start loving this place. Time to start making memories of Bangalore.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Funny assumptions...

I haven't blogged for ages. If i could make excuses here are some. I was too busy with work. I forgot my user id and password. Okay lame excuses i know. Absolutely no reason to not blog. But frankly speaking i had nothing worthwhile happening to blog okay maybe the new phone. But then frankly speaking i was too lazy. And the move to the new city was just too depressing. Hate the city and the people here. Work is my only respite. I love work. Wait for mondays. Hate fridays. So all said and done i finally found something to blog about.

Something funny happened a few days ago. It is actually depressing but i found humour in it. So here's what happened. I sprained my foot on an unfortunate tuesday and was limping about for the next three days with an ugly pink crepe band
aged foot. Pity flew in all over. Stories were also cooked up about how i fell. Which i just hated. I wanted to just sit and close my ears and not hear the sympathy. And worse part the pain in my foot made me immobile. I could not walk the elegant walk anymore. Name calling started. Limpy lucy, langdi tyagi and so on.Friday i took a day off from work stayed at home to sulk. Took the doctors appointment finally and decided to go for it.

That same day a friend of mine called me up saying he was near my place and was free for a few hours and we could meet up. With nothing left to do i dragged my limp along. Auto drivers took pity on me and quoted an exuberant price of 50 for half a kilometer. Cursing them i preferred to walk. But then hopped into a bus. Yes for just one stop. Stupid ankle. And i limped my way to the food court. With people staring at me. And then my friend comes in with his dislocated wrist wrapped in an ugly pink crepe bandage. It looked terrible. He became captain hook and i became limpy lucy. Suddenly i realised the name calling that i indulged in. And so when we began talking did i realise that all eyes were on us. People were just staring. They did not have the courtesy to even look away when i returned the stare. Thats when we both realised people can actually cook up stories about our injuries. They may think that we had the same accident and are now meeting after it. Considering that he is going to join work in a few days and start working in the same business park as me there will be lovely stories and name calling going about. Assumptions just fly about just by looking at somebody or something.

And then he decided to walk me till the clinic. Stares continued. From my foot till his dislocated wrist. Broken for each other some would think. And then he left. Too embarrassed to walk inside am sure cause his case of dislocated wrist would be more exciting for the doctor than my simple sprained ankle. Spoke to the receptionist and enquired if the doctor was in. I had to wait for half an hour she told me. Thats when she chatted up with me asking me how i injured my foot. Then she asked me "That boy who was outside with You, did he fall with You, While trying to save You?" *facepalm*

Monday, July 5, 2010

Star Gazer

Slowly the night sky enveloped her,
Tearing apart her every hope. She
Abhorred the pain that
Ripped her heart and stole her spirit.

Groping in the dark she searched,
An abode that felt like home, that her
Zealous spirit longed for,
Eager was she to smile again, with
Rekindled hope she looked up and in that very dark night saw her STAR,................ and she became the STAR GAZER.

Another attempt at acrostic poetry. With a dedication to someone who has made me strong in my weakness and also weak in my strength. :)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Mr Interesting

**This post is coming up after my friend said its worth blogging about. Drawer if i get tomatoes i am parcelling them all to you.**

Am now safe in the new city. No incidents of getting lost. except for a few misdirections and stuff. But yeah am well settled with my new job and all. But then i was still not happy. I was very home sick. Was still introspecting on whether it was worth coming all the way here for my career which was as it is in doldrums.

The new job was fabulous. Great team, awesome ambience and all that jazz. Everyone i met, spoke about how cool the place was. And what a sexed out place it is to be in. The kind of work culture and networking that happens made me feel like i was in some fairyland.

But i felt worse than a confused alice in wonderland. Then THIS happened. I was very home sick. Everyday returning to my place late from work was always depressing. Its another thing that i stayed in one end of the city. Just the thought of going off to sleep without hearing mom's nagging or dad's laughter or bro's snoring made me miserable. And everytime i took the company cab, i was either alone. Or i had people who were too busy with their blackberries.

And the kind of looks that i get from the transport manager whenever i mention the place where i stay made me feel worse. He always puts me in a cab alone. Cause no one stays my way. So basically i used to feel lost and alone on the trip back home. Nobody to converse with sometimes. Nobody at home either to ask how my day went. Cause by the time i reach, my cousin would be fast asleep.

So this fine day i was lucky to have someone come my way. We were both put in the same cab. He stayed somewhere close to my place. I could not see his face clearly cause it was dark and i was damn sleepy. The first question he asked 'How was your day?' and that started it all. The entire ride home we spoke. We spoke about work. And he gave me some valuable career advice. He spoke the real nitty gritty facts about the workplace. About what really works here. Unlike the people i met who just spoke about how cool the place is or how cool the parties are.

That thirty or twenty minute conversation i had, felt like i met a mentor. I was awed. I slept a peaceful sleep. It was the best conversation i had in a long time.

The next day i tried to recall. What the hell was his name? Racked my brains hard. Yes i know am very terrible with names and faces. I just could not recall. I tried all possible combinations and permutations of what i heard was his name.

On reaching work i pinged drawer. Told her about my cab ride. I tried to find him on the office web portal. I knew he worked in the same floor as mine.

I had to find him. I looked at every guy closely. Stared at them trying to recall. Was it him? I think people would have wondered whats wrong with me?

For once i was wondering if he even was real. Maybe if my life was any interesting (i know i keep quoting this everytime), he must have been some ghost who wanted to show me the reality.

So i was still searching on the office portal and the communicator and finally i looked up from my work screen and i see a guy walking past my desk and i almost jumped. Oh yes it was him. Immediately his name came to me. :)

That just made my day. I got busy afterwards and just could not speak to him. All though he sits just three rows away from me.

During lunch breaks and coffee breaks we crossed each other and just exchanged hi's. I thought i would catch him for coffee or if i walked by his desk but i just could not. And then it was almost the end of the day. I decided to leave early and just has i was leaving i saw him shaking hands with everyone. I guessed maybe he was just wishing everyone a happy extended weekend. Monday being the strike. I met him later in the basement and we were put in the same cab. Another interesting ride, i said to myself. Then he looks at me and says "today is my last day. I quit."

I was speechless i had nothing to say. I think i said something foolish that i could not remember. "All i could say was, dude you told me stuff last night that inspired me. Now you tell me this". And then he tells me. "forget about what ever i bitch about work. Dont let that scare you. Work is a bitch but Just work like you love it. Be proactive. I had trouble with my work life balance. You are lucky to have a nice team so make the best use of it."

And that was it. I will be back to boring cab rides alone. I thought i found a mentor but now he is no longer at my work place. Where ever you are mr interesting, you just found a fan.

P.S. I had tweeted about mr interesting so i thought he owed a blog too.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


No, this post is not a review on the season finale of the tv series LOST.

Dont even bother asking me about it cause I have stopped watching it after season one I guess.

I am constantly accused of being a wandering, dreaming soul. After my sleepwalking episode people have even considered me to have a slight chance of schizophrenia. I still take it as a joke. (its a joke right?)

So after having a really bad day. With a lot of arguements with a people who care about me. I was returning from a friend's place. I think the stupid jerk in me offended certain people and that fired my bad mood more. I did not intend to. And I dont even know in what way did i mean offence. Pondering over it, I walked to the bus depot where, well, there were many buses lined up. I got into a bus. Green one, did not bother looking at the number cause I knew that this particular bus had to take me home.

Normally it takes me only 15mins to reach home. I was in my own thoughts. Did not realise it was past 30mins. I look around and I can see the bus is packed with people. The streets looked very unfamiliar. I could not even recognise even the street signs.
First emotion:PANIC. But I was still rooted on my seat. Still scratching my head. I should be somewhere near my place even if the bus took a different route.

I looked right to see if I could ask the woman next to me, where the hell I was. She was fast asleep with a big plastic bag on her lap. No way could I get out of my seat without waking her up. And I had no guts to wake her up.

The women in front of me were busy chatting away about their teenage children. And how they never come home on time and lie about being stuck in traffic. Bad idea!! I cant ask them either. So no use looking back and asking the men behind me either. They were too busy chewing pan and spitting out the window.

I decided I would get down at a stop which is familiar and then take an auto from there. But no way could I even remember coming to this part of the city. 19 yrs here and I think am LOST. Just a day before moving away to a new city am lost in my own home town.

The lanes that the bus went through were dark and I had no idea where I was. Finally I heard a stop name. Suterpet. The name scared me more than the men oogling at my confused face.

Finally I had enough I got up woke the sleeping lady with the big bag. Made my way across the crowd of people, got felt up, I guess, but I had the panic of getting off, more than hitting back.

Once I had my feet on the ground, even though it was an unfamiliar place, I could finally breathe. Looked around not a man or a woman in sight. Only dogs and owls hooting in the trees. Behind me were high walls. And i din't even want to think what was behind it. But i guess if it was a cemetery it would make this an even more interesting story than if it was just some house with high fence walls.

So I walk for 2mins till I see an auto and ask him first "where am I?" he looks at me as though I was some ghost. Not wanting to here his answer I tell him where I need to go. Silently praying please let it not be far I just got 30rs in my wallet. I got in and did not even bother looking around as to where I am. I dont want to know. Only when I saw the familiar hospital did i pray a silent happy prayer. But the irony of it all its the fr mullers hospital which also has a mental hospital ward. (dont laugh).

And I finally reach home which by the way is next to a hospital. No not a mental hospital.

I still cant seem to chuckle over the fact that I got lost in my own home town just a day before I move to a new city.

I stare at my packed bags and wonder. More adventures to come or will I be put in a jacket.

P.S. Dont judge me after this. Friends who know me well enough know why i wrote this. :) :) its for humour's sake

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Sleepwalking or...................????

Today was one fuzzy morning I can’t remember bits of it at all.... No am not suffering from a hangover because I do remember that I did not drink.... but then I think, I had a Chocolate, which must have caused it. Am sure it was laced with something, cause I am in a state now that makes me scratch my head.

Starting with the following
1. I woke up in my bed... What’s unusual you ask? Well, I clearly remember falling asleep on the couch. How I got to my bed, is what baffles me. I must have sleepwalked.

2. I walked out of the house all set to go to work with my bag and slippers, only when I looked down did I realize I was wearing my night pyjamas. I think I was sleepwalking.

3. So I dressed up and was talking to mom as I pulled out the perfume bottle and was about to squirt it when mom screamed and snatched the bottle and said " that's the pain relief spray you nut". I think I was sleepwalking.

4. I stopped an auto near my place got into it and told him where I had to go, the auto driver looks at me puzzled wondering if I was just lazy or whether he was seriously that lucky. Only after he asked me again did Ii realize that Ii told him my house address rather than my office address. *facepalm* Travelling in an auto for a 2 meter distance the driver says “I am sleepwalking”.

5. I get down and walk towards my office, I see the mad lady. There is this lady who apparently went loony after an ugly tiff with her lover. Rumours say that she was very beautiful and had the most beautiful blue eyes ever, which are now veiled behind her mangled hair that cover half her face. And I in my sleepwalking state, stop right in front of her and stare at her eyes for one whole minute just to check if her eyes were blue. She looks at me and rants something and walks past. I was sleepwalking

6. I step into my work place and I get a phone call from one of my clients after all the details were said and confirmed I close the call with a greeting that went like this, "thank you Nithin, good night". And I realized that only after I dropped the call. But then am excused because the phone call was from the States and technically it was night there. Was it not?

7. I realized my phone was missing. Tried to recall, whether I left it at home or in the auto? I tried calling it, but no response so guessed it had to be at home. I borrowed my colleague’s phone and msgd dad that my phone was at home and to tell mom to call me ASAP. 4 hours went by and no call from dad or mom. Then it struck me I msgd my own number. DUH!!! I was sleepwalking.

8. I was wondering why the hell, my system at work not switching on. Banged at it, fiddled with the UPS. Only to realize I had not plugged it in :( I was sleepwalking.

9. Half the phone calls that came in today i addressed them with a gender switch. Sir's became madams and vice versa. I was Sleep talking.

10. I sat at the wrong desk, and was wondering why there wasn’t any AC at my place. I was sleepwalking.

I think I was sleepwalking. Because after a solid yelling, 5 crashes of the firefox, My water bottle spilling all its contents on the printer, I can effectively blame my sleepiness.

I was sleepwalking because I would definitely not hum 'Hey there Delilah' when my boss was yelling at me.

Or maybe am schizophrenic because I just saw a yellow bunny wearing a red hat and a joker’s mask while I was typing this blog out..... Or I guess that's just the party animal...

I don't know what it was…………………………………


PS. just before i posted i get an IM why are u acting so weird?.... Hmmm now i wonder what i did?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

My Rubik adventures

I was hooked, obsessed by it. Possessed rather, I had to have it at any cost. It was like the people obsessing about the latest gadgets I wanted a cube badly. Not just any cube, "a Rubik cube". Why?, Because I was bored, bored of sitting in office and playing mindless games or waiting for work to be given to me, bored of twittering and facebooking. I searched high and low for it no store had it? The only toy store, Shakti toys was out of stock on it. They ordered for it but one week went by, still no news about it.

Mom thought I was mad to be obsessed with acquiring a silly toy. Maybe I was, but I had to have it at any cost.... My tweets were filled with only Rubik tweets "I want a Rubik cube". And I had replies offering me to send me a Rubik cube, asking me if I knew how to solve it, and also questions like, what would you do with it?... DUH!!!

My Foursquare , may account 3 check-ins at Shakti toys but in reality I have been there a total of 10 times. Every time I pass that place am greeted with, "I am sorry, it has not yet arrived" face. I was sure I was even nicknamed the 'Rubik Girl'.... I didn't care I wanted it.

And then one fine Saturday, I go to the store and am greeted with "it has arrived" and he opens the box and out spills a dozen Rubik cube's... My face then was worth being photographed. The Rubik Girl was smiling: p. I was smiling all the way home. Clutching my bag, as though I had a treasure in it I headed home. Reaching home I was staring at in awe. Opened it and messed the cube gave it to my bro and told him to mess it up and then got to solving it.

My entire Saturday evening and the whole Sunday was spent in figuring it out, how each layer falls into place. I tried it out without any codes. Calls were avoided, I locked myself in my room, even food was had in a hurry, can’t remember if I slept that night too. I was that hooked. Even when I closed my eyes I was figuring out how the red-blue-yellow cubie falls into the right corner.

Finally I cheated I used the code. Found a great seven step solution online. And I did it. The last level was where I always got stuck and I used the codes and I solved it. :) broke into a jig. Came running out of the room, showed it to dad and he looked at me like I was mad or something. Snatched the cube and slided the rows and columns again and handed it over to me and said, "Solve it within three minutes and if you do I’ll give you anything you want".

That was one worthy challenge. He had slided only a few rows and columns and I could easily solve it. I showed it to him and with my cute sweet face I said "Dad please can I join GS". He just smiled. A smile, that I had not seen in months. Rubik cube you really are lucky to me.

And just like how the Red row fitted and slided in with the blue on top, I had my algorithms for life figured out. In all your frustrations you tend to ignore that your life is actually coded, it has a strategy. Just like the Rubik cube you spend hours and days twisting and turning in vain, even resort to removing or running away your problems in a dastardly attempt to cheat and not understanding the logic behind it all.

Your problems have facelets like the cube, figure it out. So here are the lessons i learnt about life and its frustrations through my beloved Rubik cube.

My Rubik Lessons
1) Figure it slowly. You will get frustrated but then in the end it’s worth it.
2) Everything has its place; slide it, move it, tackle it and the colours of life will then synchronize.
3) Its sometimes okay to cheat. But cheat smart. Don't go to evict, throw, replace, run away. If you cheat, do it with cheat codes from the experienced. From their hard learnt lessons.
4) You’ll be pro eventually. No matter how much people mess up your cube you’ll be able to solve it.

Till then this Rubik girl is out to have more adventures and acquire more gyan......

P.S. am already planning on searching if i can get the Rubik Octagon. God save me :P

Saturday, April 3, 2010


*My very lame attempt at Acrostic poetry. Am ready to face the tomatoes so fling it at the end* :P

She stood there like a morbid soul,
Her dull eyes showed no emotion;
And why would they?
Torn like a broken petal,
Tears rolled down;
Erratic she wanted to be,
Reality did strike her hard; she
Embraced her sorrow like a dear friend
Death was what she did not prefer

An Acrostic is a poem or other form of writing in which the first letter, syllable or word of each line, paragraph or other recurring feature in the text spells out a word or a message.

Rashi has written better ones though.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Letter Addressed to ME


Dear Miss-user

I don’t know what you like to be addressed as; I see frequently that you have a lot of names. Boo, Niychu. Nishu, Nisha, Nishali, Psycho, Nessi Miss Chand, Nishali, Nisha, Dimwit, Baby and so on. That’s how far my memory goes. Well here is why am writing this letter to you. Well not technically WRITING but well, just typing out a letter to you. It’s high time I tell you what I feel for you. I know you keep telling me that you are in love with me, but the fact is am in love with you since the first time you touched me. Since the first time your delicate hands held mine. I could never express and I don’t know if you ever noticed the way I sparkled that day when you held me. I hid it from you since the past one and half years. You loved me, I knew that, but I was never sure if that was true or not. Now I know it was never true. Am I just replaceable?

I remember those days when you used to spend every waking hour with me. Talk to me sweet nothings; sweetly address me as your babylu to your friends. You used to call me and take me every where you went. Show me off like I was your arm candy. Make all of your friends envious too. Your brother especially hated that you spent too much time with me.

Those where the initial months, and then one day you tell me that your college has began and that you could not take me there. I was banned there you say and you were scared I would like someone else and go with her. How could you think that way, I loved you and I was yours forever. I used to wait patiently till you came out of that scary dungeon like fortress.

I always wanted to see what it was like. One fine day you invited me there. It was such an experience I can never forget minus the squealing girls and garish clothes. You told me it was your student’s day. You left me alone next to a girl who looked more like a red peahen with her brilliant red dress that dazzled like the sun itself. I was looking around and then I realized I was lost, the red dressed friend of yours was no where to be seen. I panicked I did not know where to look for you. Those girls scared me, I felt like they were going to bully me or something. Then I saw you coming all panicky and anxious you did not say a word just took me and we walked home. Something was wrong I knew it. I wanted to tell you to call mom you’ll feel better, you called someone and then you smiled, you smiled a brilliant smile that charmed me more than ever. Why don’t you smile to me that way these days?

You loved me and you cared for me. But these days you just don’t. I am growing old I know, and you want to replace me. I remember the time I fell and my bone nearly broke the way you panicked and rushed to your uncle to fix me. He fixed me alright but just temporary. Or that time when I blacked out and suffered a near heart attack, you rushed me to a scary place where there were weird men with weird and odd looking apparatus everywhere. I could see dead people. I swear I saw dead people. But I didn’t what to scare you. That weird man said some scientific names that I could barely understand and you said “do anything and bring him back to the way he was”. And I was a back, but the trauma was there. You were careful with me after that; you never took me along to your trips, made me stay in the car. And you used to keep checking me always.

I also noticed something strange. I have all your pictures, your pictures with your friends, family, and pictures at your most memorable days but none of me. No pictures of me and you. Why? Sometimes in your low days you refuse to talk to me either. You prefer your space you say. And sometime you forget I exist. No matter how much I call out to you. I sing your favorite song, but still you disregard me. You have become careless these days. That day when we were climbing the bus I held your hand but you let go of me and I fell, I nearly broke my spine and you said “Oh I’ll fix that with glue” I was shell shocked when I heard that. I did not know if you were joking or if you were serious.

Your mom was always worried that you were too addicted to me. In fact I was too addicted to you and to your touch. I even considered staying away from you and switching myself off from you, but I knew that would just hurt you more than anything.

Have I just become just an object of pleasure to you, Am I nothing at all to you, there were days when you said you could not live without me. Now you have become so distant. What s keeping you so busy or what s keeping you so distant? I’ll be waiting here for you please talk to me again. I don’t want to go to that scary place of dead people. Please don’t replace me. Am not just your phone, am your baby…..


Yours truly,

Nokia 6300 aka Babylu

p.s. yes my phone is still hanging on to me in all my erratic, neurotic moods. The panel is broken a million times, it suffered a heart attack once and i had to flash it, erase all its memory and re install it, luckily i had a back up. Recently i was so fed up emotionally, that i put all my calls to divert. Diverted it to a non existent number. And yeah that means my calls never reach me. but msgs do. So msg me am available. And internet access that i normally do through my phone is also on hold for the time being. That is why i am not on twitter or facebook these days :P :P My Nomophobia

And no i will never replace my babylu, its my first love :)

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Week that wasn't.

Okay, so i had a very stressful week. Terribly actually. Almost met with accidents 4 times in a row. Got yelled at by my friends, family, got a low down on all my faults etc etc etc. but then i just told myself 'this too shall pass' and it did. Last Sunday, before the horrible week began i assigned a mini project for myself telling myself that am gonna capture each day with a picture.(okay this inspiration comes from )And now at the end of the week i look back at these pictures and realize, there are certain things that i can still smile about, there are certain things that still made me laugh about. So here it goes. It may not be the best of pictures but it still is the best of my week so far.

21/03/2010 Sunday- The wait that was beautiful

That Sunday i was waiting for 2 hours almost, for my friend and also for my parents. This is where i assigned myself the week project. While sitting idle in the mall i noticed this man calling on people to apply mehendi i sat there, his first customer, he said and lo and behold something that on a normal day i hate i loved it that day. I felt like a brand ambassador because after me there was a bee line of girls waiting to apply it too. See waiting is sometimes beautiful.

22/03/2010 Monday- Terrible no words at all

No i don't have any photo for this day. it was a terrible terrible Monday. I almost met with an accident. Got yelled at by my parents, my tooth ache made me dizzy.

23/03/2010 Tuesday-Metered Life

You would wonder why i clicked a picture of an auto meter. well for starters this kind of meter is not something i see everyday in Mangalore. I was so used to the ancient one that this caught me by surprise and also it showed me the distance i travel to work everyday. I sometimes walk all the way home and wow i realized i walk 4kms every time :P

24/03/2010 Wednesday-Irony

This was the morning which was extra busy. Apparently, a minister came visiting the city to inspect the ongoing road construction in front of my office. What's special about this picture well, He stooped down to touch the road and check it, he looked at the cement works, he asked a few of us about the hassles we faced and then said within a week the works will resume and the process will speed up. Its a week now and the works are still on pause mode. Irony of the day. His surprise visit was informed to us because my company booked his tickets :P

25/03/2010 Thursday- CAKE!!!!! Tooth Ache :P

And this day was the craziest of all. My good friends birthday and we all planned a surprise. For the first time i got off work early and rushed to the party. The cake was ultimate. DIVINE. I did not care for my tooth ache and hogged the cake :p

26/03/2010 Friday- Chocolatey

Another crazy Friday. Friends phone fell in the rain water drain and we had a big group of passerby's giving us all sorts of tips and suggestions to get it out. well we managed to get the phone out though. In the evening i was craving for something chocolatey even after having been warned by my dentist i went to Delisiaso and had a Snicker sneak Shake... yummmmmmmm

27/03/2010 Saturday- Twittery

Another sad work day. Was just bored to death at work. My order at Bookmark was delayed yet again inspite of the fact that i kept visiting them 5 times. I come home and i find a courier in my name. The t-shirt that i won was finally here.. woohoooo Just too elated with it i could not stop myself from jumping around. Decided to wear it the next day for the Make a Difference Recruitment drive

28/03/2010 Sunday-Made all the difference

Finally the Sunday that made all the difference to me. The Make A Difference Recruitment drive. And yes another very very good friends birthday but she was not in town to celebrate it.

And so the lesson i learnt in this little project, so what if the reason for which i smile has now changed, So what if you did not give me those smiles i usually get i still have hundreds, no thousand of reason to smile. And No, you are still the reason why i smile, its just that i now learned to look beyond you. And am able to see life beyond the rose tinted glasses. Even if my day went hell just cause you yelled at me or did not call me, i still looked beyond it.

And yes this post is dedicated to YOU.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Negativity of being a girl

The answers are the same, the predictable answer. Is it wrong to be a girl i ask?
These answers make you wonder.

NO! You cant go out at this hour.

NO! Thats not what respectable young girls do.

NO! You cant study further. What will you do with education?

NO! Why do you have to earn? Isn't my income sufficient enough?

NO! You will not talk to me in that tone.

NO! You cant travel alone.

NO! You wont understand wait till you become a mother of a girl.

NO! You cant go out to meet your friends.

NO! Do not compare yourself to your brother. He is a boy.

NO! Girls never drink.

NO! You cant wear such clothes.

NO! Thats too late a age to be married.

NO! You'd better stop crying. There s no need for you to cry.

NO! Love marriages are a taboo. Dare i hear i mention of it.

NO! Stop making a fuss.

She'll be hearing only NO throughout her life.

YES she will.... And she's being mocked at.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Little conversation

You know how sometimes you meet some random strangers and end up having a conversation that you maybe made you smile. Or maybe awakened you. Well i did meet a nice young man today at a bookstore. And had the most interesting half an hour conversation.

A cute guy who was sitting on the floor with a pile of books near him and flipping through the pages. I was amused and could not help but smile.
He was humming to the music being played in the store and at the same time reading the books he had on his lap. The choice of books gave me an impression that he was a smart guy.
He looked up at me and gave me the most beautiful smile ever. Those pearly whites and that angelic dimples just charmed me.
"Hello" he said.
I smiled, feeling too silly because i just could not stop staring at him. I asked him if he minded me sitting next to him while i search for the books in the rack near to him.
"yeah no problem, but you got to help me choose a book i have so many here i want all, but i can buy only one, help me" and he smiled again.
I picked up his books. There was a book that was all about cars, about the history of cars, the manufacture and everything. I smiled again thinking boys will be boys. The next book was about disney characters i looked at him.
"I know what you are thinking but i love animated characters they are just so funny".
I replied "dont worry even i love them too".
"you are lying that cant be possible. you cant love cartoons. okay then who is this".
He shows me sulley from monsters inc and asks me to guess. I told him who he was, he rolled his eyes as though thinking that it was some easy guess he then showed me some more characters and asked me to guess again. I scored a full score in that little game of ours.
Then we got chatting about the music that was being played in the store.
"Nikhil!! Where are you baba"...
"Time for me to go i think i ll take the car book and when i do buy the big red car i ll take you in it my friend, by the way whats your name?"...
"Nishali" i said.
"Hey nice name i ll tell mom you helped me choose a book and that even beautiful women love cartoons too. If you were in my class you would have been my girlfriend. Bye bye" and that little 5yr old imp scampered away to his mother.
And i just could not stop smiling after that.

What's the point

Life is funny at times. In the most heart wrenching situation you sometimes find a lesson to laugh at, a lesson to smile at. But this was no laughing matter or smiling matter. I stood there stunned when it struck me. The futility of it all. Consider this you go through so much trouble so much pain just to get something very important done and then you realise what's the point? Will this be appreciated will this be considered in the same sense that you want it to be considered. What if it does not turn out as the way you want it to turn out? Does it change anything.

Hope and expectations two dangerous yet two wonderful feelings that can make your die or live. So going back to the situation...what if fate meddles in such a way that you realise its 'no point i wont do it again.'

But then you actually wonder in between all of it, the point lies here- that you tried, that you did not stop. You finished and you stopped only to ask what's the point? Why? Because you want that answer. The point being you want to know what its like to go through all the trouble and then been appreciated for it. Recognition hoggers that we are. We feel our worth in it.