Wednesday, November 24, 2010

One whine filled post.

Why i dont want next week to happen? Quite a few guessing around happening about my whines about next week.

1. You getting MARRIED? (love this reason)
2. You got some project. (so why should i dread?)
3. You running away with your bf. (like huh? He would run away FROM ME :p)
4. You stole a million dollars. (sadly i got no time for grand plans :p)
5. Your parents are coming. ( how i wish that was true.i would never dread sigh )

Funny guess work indeed. Well let me break the bubble. Its my birthday next week. So why the dread you ask. Wait no its not because i am going old. I would love going old. Love having wrinkles or grey hair it would give me a reason to celebrate.
I dont want to be here away from all my bumchums, my loved ones and most importantly from the two. Al and Carrie. This is the thing we three best friends have the birthday on the same day. Every year its a big thing for the whole gang of us. Everyone looks forward to Al, carrie and Nessi.'s birthday. And its celebrated in much gusto. A whole day at the beach or going out for a long lunch or just spending the whole day riding around the city in our activas. The all girl gang fun.

I miss all that. I miss being with people who i know care even though they find me crazy. My super star who made my last birthday memorable too. I miss him.

I miss my family who saw to it that each year i turned old they would make it special. Mom cooking all my treats and waking me up in the middle of the night and keeping me awake to receive my calls. Oh yeah i sleep on my birthday. I cant stay awake after 12.30am. So friends who know that, squeeze all their calls in that time frame. "wait put nessi on conference she will sleep off otherwise"

So why will this birthday be different? The reason is that the people i always make memories with are all back home. Yeah al is in mlore and carrie in manipal and me here so for both of us its not really going to be a party together. And also considering the rest of us are also flung out across the country and the world. When i whined about with mom she just told me one think. "This year make memories with new people. You still got pinty and drawer." i know i still got some friends here. But i was so used to the old memories am dreading of making new ones.

The other dread is the fact that i dont have anything to celebrate about. Every year i think what have i done to celebrate this birthday and i always had a commemorable moment. This year i have none. Zilch. Nothing at all. No point celebrating it right. So in case you plan on wishing me please bear with my whinings and as my good friend Yulia said "Oh great the whiner is here." Cant really help it. I am growing old and i have done nothing with these 22yrs. *A big depressing sigh*

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Where does the fault lie?

Prewarning : this post is written in extreme anger. Some words and references may seem offensive but i dont really care. If you want to read. Go ahead. If you want to answer my questions please do. If you plan on getting judgemental and sling shit on me, the comments column is right below. Feel free.

Situation 1.

A 7 year old girl just done with her dance classes and is waiting outside her school for her parents to pick her up. Usually she stays inside but today she decided to stand at the gate and save the trouble for her parents to walk all the way inside the campus. It was a saturday afternoon and the road was deserted. She was waiting around playing with her pretty pink teddy bear. She looks up to see a man standing next to her. The little innocence in her failed to see what the man was upto. He was playing with her pigtails and asking her name and asked if she wanted chocolates. When she said No. He offered to show her something and promised to let her touch it. All she said to him was "uncle i dont talk to strangers and please cover your shame shame". Right at the moment she saw her parents at a distance and walked towards them unaware of what ever that just happened. It was only when she reached home and her mom asked her about the man did she realise that he was the bogey man that her mom told her to strictly avoid. And also the reason why she should stay in a safe place with adults around. She did not realise the gravity of what had happened to her. But since then she lived with the fear of bogey man who she thought never existed. The bogey man because of whom she could not go out to play alone.

Situation 2:

A 16 year old girl all excited to go to her grandma's place for vacation. And this was the first time her mom was letting her go alone. That meant travelling a 4 hour bus drive alone. Super excited she was standing at the bus stop waiting for the second bus. It was getting a bit late she realised. And she looked around to see a lot of passengers waiting. She hoped to get a seat but it looked highly unlikely, as the people at the bus stop looked like they were waiting for the same bus. She looked around staring at each passenger just to search for a familiar face. A creepy man was staring at her. She ignored him thinking maybe he was just reading the bill board behind her. Finally she heard the bus honk from a distance. She gathered her bags and stood ready. There was a huge rush of people trying to get into the bus. She held her bags close to her and tried to get in. She was only nudged between the crowd of people. Just when she found the foot hold of the bus and tried to step in, she felt an unmistakable hand on her chest. That creeped her and stunned her she stepped in, looked back and ignored it, maybe its just the crowd. As luck would have it, she did not get a seat. She had to stand in between a sea of people. The bus moved along taking along the sardine packed passengers. That very instance she felt someone holding her at the wrong place. She looked back, kicked her shoes really hard on the guy. Punched him too. And yelled a screeching scream. The bus stopped. The conductor came to her and asked her what the problem was? She was just perplexed and confused the guy was trying to run away. She pointed out to him and told them "he touched me." but before anyone could do anything that creepy man had disappeared. And the girl was given stares as though it was her fault. Like her clothes were the problem. Like the fact that she was the girl was a problem. They even told her to relax. Such things happen at crowded places. Too shocked by the reaction of the on lookers she reached home crying. And when her relatives asked her what happened. They threw a spat to never let her go alone anywhere.

Situation 3.

A 21 year old girl attended her first night out. A college party. She promised her mom she ll be home before 9. Considering that the city she lived was shut by 8 and bus services run only till ten, she made it a point to leave the party by 9. Still elated and high by the good time she had with her friends she got into her bus wrapped comfortably in her jacket she was all smiles. She got down at her stop and walked towards home. It was pitch dark and the lane looked deserted except for a few vehicles zooming by. A man came walking by her and touched her. Before she could turn back he walked away swiftly . She screamt a loud curse and that coward just ran like the wind. She traced her steps towards home and told her mom what had happened. The only reaction she got from her mom was a long lecture about going out for night outs and parties and walking the lonely road at night.

All these three situations could be Me or anyone for that matter. Everyone must have gone through such horrifying experiences. But then here comes the part that actually tears you apart. The stunned, helpless feeling that you did not do anything to stop it. The anger inside you that wants you to kill that person. You promise yourself next time you ll be careful. You ll hit back. But when next time happens its the same vicious cycle. You are stunned shocked and taken aback.

To everyone out there who has heard this happen to a friend or someone, am sure you gave this advice to them "You should have wacked the hell out of that creep". Trust me! not a good advice. Its not easy to fish out that pepper spray or stun gun right in time and disable the creepy men. First you are just stunned and taken aback. Next you feel numb and motionless. Your vocal chords give up on you. Your reflexes lose it too.

Do not ever scold them by telling them "You should never walk that lane alone". First things first sometimes even the lane well lit and with whole lot of people around incidents like this do happen.

"oh good atleast you are safe and you were not raped" thats the last thing a victim wants to hear. Yeah she may feel good that she is on the safer side but that can just give that person nightmares and trauma.

"Dress well next time". Like seriously? you think a 7 year kid wearing a frock is provocative. Its the not the clothes or the attitude. Its those perverted sense of brains that these creeps have. And its not initiated by clothes or the place or the time.

So someone please answer me. What pleasure do these uncouth men get by touching women and pouncing on them. And is it a woman's fault that she walked that lane alone, or she did not get a bus that was empty, or she preferred to wait at a bus stop than take an auto late at night?

Is this why we celebrate International Men's Day? That men are experts at getting creepy and scaring women?