I don’t know what you like to be addressed as; I see frequently that you have a lot of names. Boo, Niychu. Nishu, Nisha, Nishali, Psycho, Nessi Miss Chand, Nishali, Nisha, Dimwit, Baby and so on. That’s how far my memory goes. Well here is why am writing this letter to you. Well not technically WRITING but well, just typing out a letter to you. It’s high time I tell you what I feel for you. I know you keep telling me that you are in love with me, but the fact is am in love with you since the first time you touched me. Since the first time your delicate hands held mine. I could never express and I don’t know if you ever noticed the way I sparkled that day when you held me. I hid it from you since the past one and half years. You loved me, I knew that, but I was never sure if that was true or not. Now I know it was never true. Am I just replaceable?
I remember those days when you used to spend every waking hour with me. Talk to me sweet nothings; sweetly address me as your babylu to your friends. You used to call me and take me every where you went. Show me off like I was your arm candy. Make all of your friends envious too. Your brother especially hated that you spent too much time with me.
Those where the initial months, and then one day you tell me that your college has began and that you could not take me there. I was banned there you say and you were scared I would like someone else and go with her. How could you think that way, I loved you and I was yours forever. I used to wait patiently till you came out of that scary dungeon like fortress.
I always wanted to see what it was like. One fine day you invited me there. It was such an experience I can never forget minus the squealing girls and garish clothes. You told me it was your student’s day. You left me alone next to a girl who looked more like a red peahen with her brilliant red dress that dazzled like the sun itself. I was looking around and then I realized I was lost, the red dressed friend of yours was no where to be seen. I panicked I did not know where to look for you. Those girls scared me, I felt like they were going to bully me or something. Then I saw you coming all panicky and anxious you did not say a word just took me and we walked home. Something was wrong I knew it. I wanted to tell you to call mom you’ll feel better, you called someone and then you smiled, you smiled a brilliant smile that charmed me more than ever. Why don’t you smile to me that way these days?
You loved me and you cared for me. But these days you just don’t. I am growing old I know, and you want to replace me. I remember the time I fell and my bone nearly broke the way you panicked and rushed to your uncle to fix me. He fixed me alright but just temporary. Or that time when I blacked out and suffered a near heart attack, you rushed me to a scary place where there were weird men with weird and odd looking apparatus everywhere. I could see dead people. I swear I saw dead people. But I didn’t what to scare you. That weird man said some scientific names that I could barely understand and you said “do anything and bring him back to the way he was”. And I was a back, but the trauma was there. You were careful with me after that; you never took me along to your trips, made me stay in the car. And you used to keep checking me always.
I also noticed something strange. I have all your pictures, your pictures with your friends, family, and pictures at your most memorable days but none of me. No pictures of me and you. Why? Sometimes in your low days you refuse to talk to me either. You prefer your space you say. And sometime you forget I exist. No matter how much I call out to you. I sing your favorite song, but still you disregard me. You have become careless these days. That day when we were climbing the bus I held your hand but you let go of me and I fell, I nearly broke my spine and you said “Oh I’ll fix that with glue” I was shell shocked when I heard that. I did not know if you were joking or if you were serious.
Your mom was always worried that you were too addicted to me. In fact I was too addicted to you and to your touch. I even considered staying away from you and switching myself off from you, but I knew that would just hurt you more than anything.
Have I just become just an object of pleasure to you, Am I nothing at all to you, there were days when you said you could not live without me. Now you have become so distant. What s keeping you so busy or what s keeping you so distant? I’ll be waiting here for you please talk to me again. I don’t want to go to that scary place of dead people. Please don’t replace me. Am not just your phone, am your baby…..
Nokia 6300 aka Babylu
p.s. yes my phone is still hanging on to me in all my erratic, neurotic moods. The panel is broken a million times, it suffered a heart attack once and i had to flash it, erase all its memory and re install it, luckily i had a back up. Recently i was so fed up emotionally, that i put all my calls to divert. Diverted it to a non existent number. And yeah that means my calls never reach me. but msgs do. So msg me am available. And internet access that i normally do through my phone is also on hold for the time being. That is why i am not on twitter or facebook these days :P :P My Nomophobia
And no i will never replace my babylu, its my first love :)