Cynical lovehead

4.30 am on a Monday morning. Yes the favourite day of the week Let's not get into monday theory for today and divulge on the love theory for a bit. Yes its official now I have joined the #foreveralone club with my cynical attitude towards the love life of mine. Rather a lack of it.

Every typical girl dreams that same day her knight in shining armour will come in a white steed and take her away to some far off place. Not my dream. Yes there was a time I must have imagined a disney love story for myself.  Not anymore its never gonna happen. Not dismissing men by saying they are all losers who will crush your soul and put you into an abyss that will make you wish again for some fairy or prince to rescue you. am just saying it is not possible.

Ideal men don't exist. Exceptions in favour which for me, shall not happen. Some adorable dating couples I know are perfect. The boy gets soup for her from her favourite restaurant when she is too sick to cook. At the same time I know of couples where the boy makes the girl chauffer him to his college reunion and makes her go home alone. Second exception most likely to happen to me if I ever had a car or a bf. Or I might end up paying him a cab fare and I would be stranded alone with no money and my phone dead.

And am way too adorable and also way too independent few of the reasons why dating anyone would be wrong. I come across as a hyper and happy girl. Ideal girl for some. But here s the glitch this cynical pessimistic attitude towards love has made me lose out on so much. I know to set it right I need to change. Here is the problem I can't seem to.

There is no such thing as true love. Its just but a game of roulette. You find someone perfect today. Great conversations, happy laughs, same interests, all that jazz. Then what? How do you know its forever? The conversations die, the smiles fade, new interests come up. I have been asked out by some perfect men, ideal men but then I don't like this dating game. To stay in it a task in itself and the players seem like losers. So its best I don't play the game where I need to be tagged to someone always and have an exit strategy.

Mom has doubts I have swung the other way. Its hard to explain that am just confused. I never want to date anyone. Maybe someday someone will sweep me off my feet and give me the whirlwind romance I deserve but that said it will NEVER happen to me. Yep pessimistic I shall be always on this.

I have my friends and family till then, who ll get me soup when am sick, or take me for icecream when i need it most, or pick me up from my wild crazy adventures. But then eventually they ll get their priorities in a different order and i ll be forever alone and old.