Imagine this - you wrote a long email with the hope that it will be read, and you ll get a decent reply. After 3 days of waiting, you lose hope and forget about it. Then you get the classic few worded reply. " let's talk" and to this you wait again.
My whole life I have spent waiting. Waiting for replies. Waiting for the first moves. Right now, I know I deserve a reply. Long or short am just waiting for my story to unfold.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
White flakes of joy
And London saw a crazy happy woman walking on the streets wearing a grey hoodie, with a huge smile stuck on her face. Yes I saw my first snow at 6. 30 am
This is after jamming my fingers last night at the window. It's sign. Look out the window
This is after jamming my fingers last night at the window. It's sign. Look out the window
Crossing fingers and experimental weekends
So what am I upto this Sunday. Baking a cake or rather experimenting with it.
I mixed the cake batter and then realised I don't have a big enough vessel. Used the left over batter to make cookie cakes. See picture below. Sticky cake batter on cookies. Jus when I finished I tried to open my windows and ended up having my fingers jammed. Now I can't even cross my fingers on the hope that my experimentations with baking turns out good
I mixed the cake batter and then realised I don't have a big enough vessel. Used the left over batter to make cookie cakes. See picture below. Sticky cake batter on cookies. Jus when I finished I tried to open my windows and ended up having my fingers jammed. Now I can't even cross my fingers on the hope that my experimentations with baking turns out good
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Ramblings of a cynical love head
Is romance dead? Am not talking about the red roses, cards and dinners, but the Big Bang romance.
Candlelit dinners are just cliche. The Big Bang romance of it would be,
The candles on the beach. The candles on a rooftop with a picnic dinner. Candles by the lakeside. No one does this anymore.
Cards are just cliche. Big Bang version of it would be skywriting or post-its at a frequented cafe, or 100 words of the good times written on a never ending long strip of paper.
Flowers are cliche. But flowers stuck on a pole with a note of where you first saw her that's Big Bang.
So these rantings are from seeing flowers stuck on a pole at a busy street.
Picture posted
And no am not caving in. Romance is still dead. You just got to look at the right corners of the street they say.
Candlelit dinners are just cliche. The Big Bang romance of it would be,
The candles on the beach. The candles on a rooftop with a picnic dinner. Candles by the lakeside. No one does this anymore.
Cards are just cliche. Big Bang version of it would be skywriting or post-its at a frequented cafe, or 100 words of the good times written on a never ending long strip of paper.
Flowers are cliche. But flowers stuck on a pole with a note of where you first saw her that's Big Bang.
So these rantings are from seeing flowers stuck on a pole at a busy street.
Picture posted
And no am not caving in. Romance is still dead. You just got to look at the right corners of the street they say.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
..........
The cold sheets are crying for you. Every inch of the house have traces of your being. Don't let it fade.
The walls long to hear the sighs of sweet joys. Don't let them forget our music.
The couch has gone cold and needs your warmth. The telly is being watched but prefers watching you.
Of lying beside you, of being watched while I sleep, of sweet nothing's whispered. Come back soon
The walls long to hear the sighs of sweet joys. Don't let them forget our music.
The couch has gone cold and needs your warmth. The telly is being watched but prefers watching you.
Of lying beside you, of being watched while I sleep, of sweet nothing's whispered. Come back soon
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Snowy wishes
My birthday wish was to see snow. Birthday is over And the closest i got to snow is the pic. And also some fake snow.
After all that wishing for a perfect birthday and it turned not close to perfect at all. Or maybe it did.
I officially hate my birthday as goes all my posts. Here is my theory you turn a year older, yeah good thing. But do you deserve it? Did you do good the whole year. What's your key achievement? If nothing comes into your head you know you ll jus have a sucky birthday.
I try to jot down my happy things.
1. London
2. 4 amazing people who will be on list.
3. I was secret Santa to so many people
4......
And I could not count further. Either an unaware or am seriously out of things to count.
So I made a deal with God. Make me see snow. Make me happy.
So the day before my birthday I am in Edinburgh wishing it will snow when I get back to London.
Lying on the ground were these dried leaves and grass covered in frost. That kept my hopes high. I will see snow.
Europe trip could not happen before my 24 birthday. But my snow wish had to come true.
Reached London feeling super ill and super low. Had a rift with a friend yes on the night of my birthday. And also caused a rift with my friends back home. I had people yelling at me. And all I could do was sulk.
Perfect start to my new year.
So the next morning the day of my birthday. I went to another birthday party.
A 1 year olds birthday. On my way in the cab I was talking to my friends of how I wished for snow. A perfect gift for my day. Just that exact moment I could see flakes of white drifting in the wind and falling on the busy street. I squealed more like screeched. "It's snowing"
But to my utter dismay my joy was short lived. The cabbie laughed and said its fake. Some commercial shop was using it part of their promotions. Sulked the whole ride to the party. And the cabbie just smiles at me and said "Happy birthday am sure snow is not the only thing that will make your birthday a happy one"
And he was right. I had an awesome time at the kids birthday with whom I shared my birthday.
My friends came over later in the evening and got me idli sambar. Yes idli sambar in London. The happy replacement for a cake. That with a nice bottle of wine.
And we went out dancing. So it was a Happy Birthday.
Not a perfect one like I wished for. But I know when I get back home to India. It will be all made up for. My hope for snow will remain.
After all that wishing for a perfect birthday and it turned not close to perfect at all. Or maybe it did.
I officially hate my birthday as goes all my posts. Here is my theory you turn a year older, yeah good thing. But do you deserve it? Did you do good the whole year. What's your key achievement? If nothing comes into your head you know you ll jus have a sucky birthday.
I try to jot down my happy things.
1. London
2. 4 amazing people who will be on list.
3. I was secret Santa to so many people
4......
And I could not count further. Either an unaware or am seriously out of things to count.
So I made a deal with God. Make me see snow. Make me happy.
So the day before my birthday I am in Edinburgh wishing it will snow when I get back to London.
Lying on the ground were these dried leaves and grass covered in frost. That kept my hopes high. I will see snow.
Europe trip could not happen before my 24 birthday. But my snow wish had to come true.
Reached London feeling super ill and super low. Had a rift with a friend yes on the night of my birthday. And also caused a rift with my friends back home. I had people yelling at me. And all I could do was sulk.
Perfect start to my new year.
So the next morning the day of my birthday. I went to another birthday party.
A 1 year olds birthday. On my way in the cab I was talking to my friends of how I wished for snow. A perfect gift for my day. Just that exact moment I could see flakes of white drifting in the wind and falling on the busy street. I squealed more like screeched. "It's snowing"
But to my utter dismay my joy was short lived. The cabbie laughed and said its fake. Some commercial shop was using it part of their promotions. Sulked the whole ride to the party. And the cabbie just smiles at me and said "Happy birthday am sure snow is not the only thing that will make your birthday a happy one"
And he was right. I had an awesome time at the kids birthday with whom I shared my birthday.
My friends came over later in the evening and got me idli sambar. Yes idli sambar in London. The happy replacement for a cake. That with a nice bottle of wine.
And we went out dancing. So it was a Happy Birthday.
Not a perfect one like I wished for. But I know when I get back home to India. It will be all made up for. My hope for snow will remain.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Cynical lovehead
4.30 am on a Monday morning. Yes the favourite day of the week Let's not get into monday theory for today and divulge on the love theory for a bit. Yes its official now I have joined the #foreveralone club with my cynical attitude towards the love life of mine. Rather a lack of it.
Every typical girl dreams that same day her knight in shining armour will come in a white steed and take her away to some far off place. Not my dream. Yes there was a time I must have imagined a disney love story for myself. Not anymore its never gonna happen. Not dismissing men by saying they are all losers who will crush your soul and put you into an abyss that will make you wish again for some fairy or prince to rescue you. am just saying it is not possible.
Ideal men don't exist. Exceptions in favour which for me, shall not happen. Some adorable dating couples I know are perfect. The boy gets soup for her from her favourite restaurant when she is too sick to cook. At the same time I know of couples where the boy makes the girl chauffer him to his college reunion and makes her go home alone. Second exception most likely to happen to me if I ever had a car or a bf. Or I might end up paying him a cab fare and I would be stranded alone with no money and my phone dead.
And am way too adorable and also way too independent few of the reasons why dating anyone would be wrong. I come across as a hyper and happy girl. Ideal girl for some. But here s the glitch this cynical pessimistic attitude towards love has made me lose out on so much. I know to set it right I need to change. Here is the problem I can't seem to.
There is no such thing as true love. Its just but a game of roulette. You find someone perfect today. Great conversations, happy laughs, same interests, all that jazz. Then what? How do you know its forever? The conversations die, the smiles fade, new interests come up. I have been asked out by some perfect men, ideal men but then I don't like this dating game. To stay in it a task in itself and the players seem like losers. So its best I don't play the game where I need to be tagged to someone always and have an exit strategy.
Mom has doubts I have swung the other way. Its hard to explain that am just confused. I never want to date anyone. Maybe someday someone will sweep me off my feet and give me the whirlwind romance I deserve but that said it will NEVER happen to me. Yep pessimistic I shall be always on this.
I have my friends and family till then, who ll get me soup when am sick, or take me for icecream when i need it most, or pick me up from my wild crazy adventures. But then eventually they ll get their priorities in a different order and i ll be forever alone and old.
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