Denial

Denial: This should be an official vacation spot. Dont understand why is it looked down upon.

A perfect holiday spot. where everything is right. Where your career is a Breeze. Your life is one amazing cafe at the beach. Where all you have to do is put up your legs in bliss.

But then that evil man in the white coat brings you back.

I want to stay in DENIAL my life is amazing there.

Cause I cant sleep

Call me weird but my stress buster is i laugh and i ll write and i ll tweet, even if it never made any grammatical sense.

And yes Attention Seeker, Drama Queen is now playing a very important part in the play of her life.



And YES I AM FINE :D

And i thought i am not a romantic, apparently i am. Treating people like projects, bringing smiles to even the meanest idiots, always smiling. I need to stop being so happy go lucky in life

20 Minutes

A certain someone who will read this eventually is gonna go  #faceplam  "and you blogged about it, really?"


Yes Yoda i did.

What if you realised that in 20 mins your life is gonna change. Maybe for the better or for the worse.

That dream trip may come true but what happens to you in the next 20 mins can ruin your chances for it.

That one phone call you longed for will not happen if you do something you are not meant to in the next 20 mins

 Twenty mins in that white magnetic field chamber has changed the course of my life. My dream trip is not gonna happen. I am never gonna make that phone call. People around me are going to look at me in a different light. You will realise that all that you dreamed about is just a make believe.

Twenty mins and your life can change.


Hoping that this all this just goes back to normal in the next 20 hours and it does not turn into a drama that am making of it.

Someone You Knew

Life and its strangest ways.


Everyday you meet people, everyday you lose people. And the encounters define or mar your life. This post comes from a series of encounters i have had with different people over a long time. As one good friend said to me  "people are projects to you right? " he said it in a way that even i would not have been able to put it across.

Every time you are questioned on your actions, as to why do you even care about someone, why do you sometimes justify even their meanest actions. Humans are complicated. Nothing can be done about that.Its this complication that challenges you. You  try to justify everything that a person does to you. All those someones that you are nice to return your goodness or try to hurt you.

 Someone insults you, you try to understand why. Someone breaks your heart you justify it by saying Your heart is meant to be broken. Everyone is weird in their own ways, they will never agree to it.Your biggest Nemesis, the one who makes you judge your own weird self suddenly becomes your obsession. You know you will hurt yourself but you still continue to touch that nerve. You know its not worth but you still give it a shot.

Why? because you are just curious too see beyond that complication. You love the chaos. You are nice to the meanest person, why? Cause people are your projects you want to see what makes them hate you. And then all these complicatedly simple people become part of your life. To all the someones you are the same. you can't hate anyone and you can't avoid anyone.

Someone who'll sweep you off your feet.
Someone who'll leave you small little notes.
Someone who gives you a smile everyday in spite of just having the worst day.
Someone who'll slap you in the middle of the road to put sense into your head.
Someone who leaves you stranded in the middle of a deserted road.
Someone who pulls your hair out of that messy bun.
Someone who sends you strawberry smileys because of the private joke between you'll.
Someone who promises to get you a souvenir and ends up getting it one size big.
Someone who you thought hates your guts but secretly loved to make you smile.
Someone sends you pink flowers.
Some one's vengeful words becomes your private humour.
Some one's unnoticed intentions come clear to you.
Some one's secret admiration becomes weird to you.
Someone who never had a picture clicked with you.
Someone who thinks your giggles are the weirdest thing ever.
Someone who hates to pose but clicks that awesome picture with you.
Someone treats you like a queen.
Someone who loves to see you cry.
Someone who hates your face.
Someone who loves to bug you, till you crack.
Someone who has a new nick name for you.
Someone to whom you'll always be their secret Santa.
Someone to whom you'll be JUST a friend.
Someone who'll walk all over you and you let them do








One fine day you do something stupid and you start regretting all that you did. All the nice things that you ever did. Blaming yourself for letting a someone walk over you and trample your spirit. You smile despite that.

And in the mess and complications you met another someone. Someone you thought you'd  never meet ever again. And you meet them at the strangest place ever. A police station in the middle of nowhere, where you are filing a complaint for the other chaos that struck your life.

And this person just looks at you and you wonder if you should  begin the conversation with a "how have you been" or just smile. And like the foolish thing that you are, you say

 "how come here?".

 To which he smiles that smile which you wanted to hate but never could.

 "Being your Knight in Shiny shoes" 

His sense of humour never stops. i swore i hated it before but i giggled this time. Past all forgotten.

And with that you become the someone who was at the police station distraught and helpless and the one person who you thought never cared, that one familiar face you never wanted to see becomes your hope in a very awkward way indeed. and you become theirs.

To all those someones you were their someone too. And one day your deed shall be returned. Cause life is strange and People are stranger than life itself.

Its 1 am i know and i always speak my mind when sleepy, and they never make any sense. If you did understand what's written here do let me know, cause i can never understand my ownself.

Purple

Another lame attempt at acrostic poetry. Please feel free to give me your critical view on this

Purple



Pouting red across the setting sky, as the silver drizzles of rain lashed out,

Under the canopy of the dark blue and orange sky was the smiling pink sun.

Rising blue waves crashing and breaking on the white grains of sands painting blank murals, a

Pallette of colours across that beach but not a sight of my favourite colour. The one i

Love, the colour i seek. And right when i lost hope on that

Endless stretch of silver sand, there it was gleaming in the moonlight a purple gem.

And I woke up to see my photo in the Newspaper

It really sounds great that you wake up one fine morning and you get to know that you have your photo in the newspaper. For me it happens way too frequently.

Having journo friends who call me up at odd hours to get a sound bite on something or the other to which i happily oblige. And then the off and on msgs about what picture to be used, to which they normally take my facebook pictures.


And then there are times when I come in P3 because of some theatre or art show, or some odd happenings around the city, to which mostly am unaware until i get a msg from some long lost friend who goes "Hey long time, I saw your photo in the paper about X event that happened at Y".


But this particular Msg that I got one day took me off guard. A relative msgd me saying I have come in the front page of Bangalore times. And I was expecting it to be the event I had attended the previous day. But then when he told me that it was the picture of me in a bike, I was taken aback. I rushed out of my house to buy the paper. And there it was staring right out of the front page of the Newspaper, a Grinning Photo of mine sitting on a Bike.




I did look good but what suprised me was i had no hand in it.

Read through the article and I saw that it was about this Art of Bicyle Trips. A culture trip that i had participated in months ago. There were quotes about the Trip orgainzer and other people who had participated in the trip. I contacted Pankaj Mangal who had organised the trip and asked him why is there my picture in the article, and why was i not informed about it. He claims that Nirmala the journalist was supposed to get back to him on what picture she would be using and confirm before it would be published. He was however not informed and the article was published.

I tried contacting Nirmala Govindarajan, but was of no use. TOI office number that was listed just does not respond. Tried to dig up my contacts with my journo friends who worked in TOI long ago, but still could not get any help.

If Nirmala and Pankaj do read this post, i just wannt to ask them, how can Nirmala take a picture from my album without notifying me?
When i went on the trip i never signed any form that states that the pictures from my album will be used for publicity of any form.

Pankaj Mangal, just one call from you could have saved you all this trouble. atleast i dont have to wake up to see my grinning photo in the paper.

The Untitled Post

This post should have been published way back in the month of march. But people who know me well would also know my alter ego the laziness. But i have valid reasons now. I was busy. No seriously i was. Hong Kong Trip and work and wedding blues and stuff........... So well here goes.

I was getting sick of my routine. Tired of seeing the same old people in my cab. Having the same conversations everyday. It was slowly creeping into me. Work delighted me. But the people around me still felt the same. I was itching for a change. A holiday. Something. A new Office Crush maybe. :p but then lazy me never did anything worthwhile. I sat on the same window side of my cab. Looked at the same old sights while heading out to work. Saw the same girl walking on the crowded road. Saw the same hunchbacked guy selling flowers by the roadside.

It was on one of these normal same old days that i noticed the kingfisher perched on a pole. Its bright coloured small body perched pretty on the tall pole. I saw it one day, and the next and kept seeing it everyday. Perched on the same pole the same spot. Still and unmoving. Almost feels as though its a ceramic piece kept there.

It became a routine for me. Everyday I'd see it perched at the same spot. This went on for a couple of days. I wonder what did it even think. Did it just perch there everyday looking at people travel on that lonely road and laugh at them. Did it perch there to look into the lake and catch its fish for the day. I wonder if it ever got bored sitting at the exact same place and the exact same pole.

Sad life it must have i thought. To be sitting on that same pole everyday at the same time. Its got wings. Wings to tale it anywhere it wanted to. Sit on any pole it wanted. Fish at any lake it wished to. Strange as it may sound i thought about my life. I could also do anything. I had wings too. I could make my change. But i did not. I was making myself comfortable. Comfortable about my routine.


Slowly it struck me how comfortable I was making myself. Gone were the days were i took risks did things that i wanted to and never cared. I would not change my travel operator cause i was comfortable in taking that same particular bus whenever i travelled home to mlore.

I still took the same old bus from the same stop whenever i ventured out on weekends. No matter where i went i made sure i was close to that bus stop where i could tale my bus home.

And i was complaining even when i was at fault. And right there i took it upon myself i need a change. And i ll bring the change. So i did. Stopped taking breakfast at my desk. Sat with random people at the cafeteria. Only they were the housekeeping staff or the catering stuff who come so early but the deal was it was a change. A nice way to strike up conversations with them. I got extra juice glasses too. :p ssshh trade secret. I took walks. Each day a different person.

And then the Hong Kong trip happened. MAJOR CHANGE. That trip has a different story in itself. Did things i'd never would have done. Too explicit to be told here. :p But it changed me. I explored i ventured met people. it did not feel like routine. 11 days each a different me. One day wild, one day calm, one day crazy childlike. I was no longer comfortable in anything. Getting back to India i thought things will get back to the same. But i was wrong it did not. It still felt different. Everything felt new and nice. I was making changes. Seeing things differently. OC remains the same though :p

But then something changed. My kingfisher was not on that pole anymore. It troubled me for a few days. Almost thought it died or something bad must have happened to it. I changed my cab route and timings, got new cab mates and new conversations happened. And then one fine day i look out the window on my way to work and i see my kingfisher perched on a different pole. Its pretty little colourful body sitting on a higher pole, having a whole new perspective. So its not just me thats making changes in life. The kingfisher has changed its pole.




P.S. I could not think of a right title for this post. Help me out here guys. the comments box is right below